Owies

Dave went on a high adventure with the scouts this past week. They took a few canoes over to the Allegany National Forest and camped for a week. I was a little worried that they only brought ramon noodles, oatmeal, poptarts and cookies for meals. Dave said no one complained and that there were no major injuries. They didn't have cell phone service while out in the boonies. It was weird to not talk at all or to say goodnight. Dave didn't seem to mind too much, I however went crazy:) Jenny ended up coming up and saving me for the last few days of Dave being gone. No fingers will be pointed, but Addison did get her first black eye. She tripped in the bathroom and bumped her eye on the corner of a drawer. It just keeps getting more and more blue(the pictures don't do it justice). She points to her eye and says, "OW!" She will forgive who ever let this happen to her I am sure:)

Addison seems to be growing up and I want to freeze time. My only saving grace is that she still lets me rock her for a little bit at night and she gives the best hugs. She is starting to mimic everything that I do. I had the hiccups the other day while driving and I heard her making some weird noise in the back. When I got her out and was closer to her I realized she was trying to do hiccups! She has really started to pick up on folding her arms for prayer. It only lasts for a few seconds, but she does do it! Her hair has gone wild! Her curls are taking over her head. I put a little gel in it on Sunday and she looked pretty cute(minus the child abuse black eye). 

I took her to do a toy testing at Fisher Price this past week. At the end she got to pick a toy as a thank you. I really wanted her to grab the ipad childproof case. She went straight for the giant pink picnic basket that sings. She was carrying it around like a purse during the toy testing and became attached. Since she is the one performing the child labor I suppose picking a toy she likes is fair. 

We are starting to notice that Addison is afraid of heights. I am terribly afraid of them so I guess a small part of me expected her to be as well. We just didn't think that something like that would become apparent so early on. If you toss her up in the air or even set her on the counter she clings to you and whimpers. It does work to my benefit as I am trying to do her hair though! 

Addison loves to be in the kitchen when I am. She wants to be in the dishwasher or trying to "cook" in her corner while I do. She has her own set of little pots and she gets down to business with them! She has mastered the art of stirring. We are working on not touching the oven while it is on.

Addison pooped in the tub...for the third time. This time it was on her daddy's watch! Dave tried to pawn the duty of scooping it out and cleaning the aftermath on me. He claimed he has cleaned his fair share of poopy problems. I told him NOT A CHANCE! The last two have been when he isn't even home so it was his turn. Addison will kill me some day for talking multiple photos of the event.

We have been doing a lot of video chatting with grandparents and a lot of running around as Summer comes to a close. We are still taking a lot of wagon rides around the neighborhood and playing in little pool in our back yard.  Dave has started up a new semester and Addison and I are both grateful that he will be coming home at night. I am looking forward to the cooler weather and everything that Fall has to offer!

Look at those curls!

Grandma Came!

Addison has been so lucky this summer to be able to have both her grandmas visit! Grandma Michael made the long trip from California to stay for a week. Dave had the week off we ran around filling the days with what Buffalo has to offer. We got to go to the temple which was much needed. Dave and I managed to stay awake and Addison liked walking around the grounds with Grandma. We spent the day touring Palmyra and the church sites. No matter how many times we take people there I still feel like I learn something each time. It is a beautiful part of the country and we feel blessed to live so close right now. We hit up Dinosaur BBQ in Rochester on the way home. I am pretty serious about my ribs and these were amazing (not as good as my dads, but a close second)! Addison ate her first grilled cheese and fruit with french fries. She is turning into such a big girl eater! Addison enjoyed getting baths and books from Grandma in the evenings. We fit in a few wagon rides and a lot of playing with toys. There is a little fishing town called Olcott. It had old fashioned kiddie rides for 25 cents! Addison loved the carousel and she got to go on a flying car ride. They had a little ice cream shop there that had cannoli ice cream. I was in heaven! Addison enjoyed a fresh strawberry ice cream cone and Dave managed to get a ginormous vanilla something:) Addison did a lot of napping in the car or not napping at all with all the running around! The zoo was next on our list. Addison and i usually just see the first half before we head out so we started in the back this time. The weather was PERFECT. Addison got to ride in her red wagon around the zoo which turned out to be a great idea. It made it a lot easier for her to see the animals and who doesn't love rolling around in here! Grandma got to take her on a train ride at the zoo as well. Later that night we treated Sharon to the Erie County Fair. We went last year and had a really good time. This year was nothing short of great! There was a balloon show that was made the whole night worth it. Addison got to walk away with a giant flower balloon that was about 4 times her size. We all had our fill of fried and sugary food for the year. Dave had his first fried twinkie and I always like a funnel cake. Somehow Addison managed to taste all of the goodies as well:) Addison got to pet a pig, goat, cow and sheep. Daddy had to scrub her hands extra good after that event! She is starting to make cow noises and was able to perfect them that night. Saturday Dave had to go to a canoe safety course and came back looking like a tomato. As he applied aloe vera we headed to a nice dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Addison walked around while we were waiting with her purse over her arm waving to everyone. She loves to make people laugh! After dinner we dropped Addison off at Will's house and went to a movie. It was nice to sneak out and go to an adult movie. Grandma had to catch an airplane on Monday, but before she left we took her to Duff's Wings. We all said goodbye and Addison has missed her since! We had a really busy, but fun week!    

Home Sweet Home

Dave had one more week left away and I took the opportunity to go home. I drove to Jenny's and loaded our stuff in her car and she drove the second leg of the trip. It was nice to not drive alone with Addison and it made the long drive go faster (oh and the bag of double bubble that I consumed the whole drive there). Back in April I had helped my mom gather things to do a collage on her wall. I had promised to come back to help hang it later. This was the week. Jenny used her awesome hanging skills and we got the job done. It makes the front room look really nice and I think my mom is pretty happy with it. We hit up all of my local favorites during the week. Jersey Mikes is always a first night deal followed by skyline, greaters ice cream and if I am lucky Larosa's Pizza. We went to a new Thai restaurant that I feel in love with too. Addison got to play with all of Grammie's fun toys and follow Papa around the house. Harley did a nice job of keeping Addison happy as well. Most importantly Jenny and I caught up on our tv show that week. Late nights equaled early mornings so it was a good thing Grammie was around! It was a great week and Addison and I are lucky to live so close right now. I will say that the drive home was not so lucky. Poor Addison was not having it and I had to pull over a few times to calm her down...which didn't work. 

We made it home just in time for Dave and I to say hello and finish writing out talks for sacrament meeting the next day. I haven't had to speak in about 2 years so it was time. Dave on the other hand had just spoken about 6 weeks earlier and was a good guy and agreed to speak again. My talk was on Finding Strength in the Lord and Dave spoke on Following Christ. I managed to hold myself together and not cry during half of it (must mean I am getting more mature). I was tempted to keep talking so that I could continue to watch Dave struggle with Addison in the pews. It was a peaceful 20 minutes of not picking up thrown books or chasing after Addison. I was grateful for the opportunity to take time and reflect on my testimony and build my thoughts about our Savior. Also I got so nervous that when I was introducing our family I forgot to mention that we had a daughter! 

I also got a new calling a few weeks ago. I am now the primary secretary. Apparently someone thinks that I know how to be organized! As soon as they can find someone to take my place as nursery leader I am sure that I will enjoy the change of pace and being around more adults on Sundays. Dave is headed on a high adventure with the scouts next week .They are going on a canoe trip which he has been looking forward to all Summer. Grandma Michael is on her way here as I type for the week. She hasn't seen Addison since Christmas time so I am sure she is in for a treat! We have a lot planned and I am excited to be able to go to the temple one of the days she is here!

Surprise for Dave

I pulled off the surprise of a lifetime for Dave's birthday this year. I want to toot my own horn for a bit on how awesome it turned out. I arranged for his buddy Jeremy to fly in for them to have a "guys weekend". I have been on a few lady trips this year and I am always sneaking off to see my family. Dave has worked really hard this past year in school and makes a lot of sacrifices for Addison and I. Dave's birthday was on a Friday this year which worked out perfect. Dave was on his way back from Syracuse when I went to pick up Jeremy from the airport. I had told him that I had one more fast errand that I had forgotten about. He thought that we were going to go to a nice dinner that night and then go hiking all day the next day. I had even promised him that I would last like 10+ miles this time with no complaints. I really had him going:) Jeremy rang the back door bell and just as I predicted to Jeremy Dave went, "Jeremy? Dude!" He was pretty confused, but really excited. We jumped in the car and dropped Addison off at a friend's house so we could go out to eat. I made reservations at a place called, Chef's Italian. It was TERRIBLE. I felt bad that the meal and service was so bad. I tried to make up for it by serving fruit topped cheesecake for dessert. Addison gave her dad Kan Jam (a frisbee game) and I gave him a cool tungsten ring. He received lots of warm wishes and nice cards. Dave and Jeremy spent the weekend kayaking, mountain biking and camping. I regretted letting Dave be gone over Sunday as I wrestled Addison alone in sacrament meeting. They came home dirty and exhausted. I made a nice steak and corn dinner to end the weekend. It will be hard to top this birthday bash in the years to come! Thanks again Jeremy for taking the time off to come celebrate Buffalo style. Happy 28th Birthday Dave! We love you!

A Day at the Beach

My parents were dog sitting in Pittsburgh so I decided to meet them half way for the day at Presque Isle state park. It was beautiful! It had a ton of beaches and a few lighthouses to go see. The beaches were clean and Addison loved playing in the sand. She has gotten really good and backing up going down the stairs. She took this stance as she would get into the water and it was so funny to watch. It was the perfect day. One more day closer to Dave being done with Syracuse! 

Family Days

I have been passing the weeks that Dave is gone by visiting family. I was able to go to Pittsburgh for a week to hang out with Jen, Paul and Harley. Addison chased Harley up and down the stairs trying to share his toys. She found a new home in his kennel. She would back it up into the kennel and whisper, "WOOF" They have an L shaped set of stairs so Addi would get to the landing and peek around and say, "BOO"! We did a little shopping, went to a science museum and helped pick paint for their new home. I attempted to help paint the bathroom, but Addison wanted in on the fun and so I ended up playing with Addi while Jen finished painting. We caught up a lot of trashy teenage tv and nail painting with popcorn. 

Reflections

 Dear Self,
I have always loved to read. My choice of literature has never been fancy or "deep". Dave always jokes with me that I am a closet fantasy reader. My favorite series will always be Harry Potter. It was the first big chapter book that I remember reading. I can vividly remember reading it one summer during the Olympics sitting on the couch at Bear Lake. Since having Addison I haven't really had the draw to read as much as I used to. I am too tired and chose to mindlessly watch tv on Netflix all night long or surf facebook. I hate the rut that I feel after those nights when I really haven't done much. It allows my mind to wander on all the moments that day when I feel like I let Addison down or talking to much at Dave instead of listening to him. Dave being gone to Syracuse has been a lot harder on me than I ever thought it would. I have always thought that I was capable of being independent( I am sure all my siblings would laugh that I would even think that). I  love being with family and have really relied on my family this past year with being a new mom. The past 6 weeks that Dave has been gone I have been full of constant fear. I worry not knowing the area that he is in and what he goes home to. It has been difficult to "grow up" and go through these steps to further our future. I started to feel like it was a weakness that I was visiting a family member almost every week. All I could talk about or think about was how hard being a single mom is. How hard my life is right now. I feel bad for every way that I have chosen to spend the day with Addison. I go to bed hoping that by some miracle Addison will sleep in til noon and I can have a day to myself.

I never write down these kinds of feelings and am feeling very private about expressing them on my family blog. I have been reading Heaven Is Here by Stephanie Nielson. I have read her blog here and there and have been touched by her story and her journey to recovery. I rarely start sobbing while reading a book...I take that back Nicolas Sparks, Dear John  really got me:) Anyway, I know it is probably a cliche, but reading this book is changing my perspective on how I handle my days. I laid in bed last night reading til a ridiculous late hour and found myself bawling into Dave's pillow. Sometimes it just feels really good to cry loud and hard when no one is around. I read a part in the book where Stephanie felt the presence of her grandmother helping her to safety. I started to think to myself. I don't write about spiritual things on here and they really are a big part of who I am. My mind wandered back to the evening I delivered Addison. I want my family to know that miracles do happen to everyone and that by sharing them we can draw strength from one another.

I am sure that as many people read Stephanie Neilson's book they will be drawn to reflect on their own kind of miracles. Here is mine. I remember laying there and feeling like I couldn't handle one more set of pushes. I was utterly exhausted both physically and emotionally. I wanted to crawl in a ball and make everyone go away. When I think of Dave during these moments I remember seeing worry in his eyes. This was something that I had never felt or really seen in him. I always joke with him that he is dead inside. My mom looked tired and I knew she was feeling empathy towards me and the long day that it had been. For a split second I felt relief I felt like I was looking at the room from a different view. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to take this moment away. That I knew I wouldn't been given anymore than I could handle and I was fearful that He had forsaken me. It went away as quickly as it came, but I will never forget the way that it made me feel. I felt an overwhelming sense of strength that I was full of womanhood. That I was powerful and that God had created my body for moments like this. To bring special spirits into our home so that we could be a family here on earth. At that moment a woman in red scrubs entered the room. I still have no idea who she was or what purpose she played, but I know she was heaven sent. She looked me in the eyes and spoke with a thick Mexican accent that I still don't know if I fully understood her. She motioned  how to sit a little differently and with her hand pointed where to pull my energy from during the next push. She counted with my doctor on the next push and then she was gone. It all seems like such a blur and I am sad that I have waited to long to record this. I felt warmth surround me during the last few seconds of delivery. I didn't want to give up and I knew that end was near. I remember a feeling that I often draw near to when I am in need. It was my Grandma Thomson. She will always have a special place in my heart. She is in my dreams and often in my prayers I can feel her presence. I don't remember what role Dave played in coaching me I think it was all a bit of a surprise to both of us. I do know that we were a family then and that we were bening blessed by his worthy priesthood power. He was able to give me a blessing before I started pushing and I believe in that power that he administered.

I have been able to really think about my life and what is important. I know that staying true to my faith and harvesting a testimony with my Savior is what will really matter at the end of the day. It doesn't matter how many times I have picked up cheese ground in my carpet, emptied bags of snacks all over the clean kitchen, a new package of wipes thrown everywhere, a box of cereal emptied on the carpet, dirty dishes taken out of the dishwasher while trying to load or fighting to keep a bow in to match that perfect outfit. What does matter to me is that I have two hands that are capable to clean and handle all of those messes. I am blessed to be able to stay at home with Addison with out question from Dave. I know he supports me as a mother and I support him in his dream to be in the Air Force and to go to grad school in Buffalo, NY.

Stephanie Nielson embraces the help of her entire family. I used to think that this was a sign of someone who couldn't let their family go. Instead I feel so incredibly blessed at how much I have been able to see my family this past year. I have seen each of them already this year and it isn't even the holidays! I know I can be a good mother and that someday Addison will love being a big sister. For now I will take pride in changing a poopy diaper while wrestling a one year old from putting her foot in it. I will giggle as I find treasures that Addi has hidden under pillows and in book pages. I will rock her to sleep and not think about what I want to do when she is finally asleep. I will talk about Jesus and try not to cry when I see her fold her arms for prayer and say men for amen at the end. I am raising a future mother and I want her to have an example of the joys that it can bring.

Love, Em

June Amelia Waite for whom Addison June is named after. She looks beautiful here!